December 15th, 2010

The weeks seem to be flying by!  I almost forgot to update the blog today.  I opted NOT to start the new chemo on Monday.  I was feeling very fragile emotionally and just wasn’t ready to commit to the new side effects -especially losing my hair.  However, I think I am going to start with this coming Monday or the Monday after Christmas.  I just can’t not do it if there’s any chance at all that it will give me more time.  So I “empowered” myself by getting set up for a wig and some of those “cancer caps.”  It is still going to be hard, but so many before me have done it.  I can, too.  The pain is increasing – had to go up on the pain meds.  But I am able to control it and am mostly comfortable.  I also started seeing a counselor who specialize in issues dealing with terminal cancer patients.  I am hoping he will be able to give me new perspective on the issues I and my family are facing.  The hardest thing for me, personally, is totally illogical.  I feel a sense of guilt for causing those that I love such pain.  Like I said, illogical!  But that’s where I am.  As always, thanks for your support and caring for me and mine.

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8 Responses to December 15th, 2010

  1. Carol Fox White says:

    Oh Linn, there is so much to think about and consider, isn’t there? Put all of your energy into the new treatment. I am a cosmetologist who has worked with quite a few people with their “new hairdo’s”. If I can help you with any of that please let me know.
    I am glad you remembered to post today. I checked twice earlier and was anxious for the news. It’s just a lot to have to deal with during the holidays and that plays hard on the heartstrings….but as you said…it is about the time factor. You are in my thoughts, hopes and prayers.

  2. Donna Simonitsch says:

    Lin, you are so brave and I admire you so much. I hope you are able to enjoy Christmas. Can you have fun with your wigs—how about a sexy long blonde one, or even better, go bright red! Your kids would love it.
    I can understand your feelings of guilt. I would have the same. Just remember, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
    My prayers are with you at this time. Knowing you, I am sure you will make this Christmas a wonderful and blessed event that your children will cherish.
    My best to you and yours.

  3. Deb Hillen says:

    Hope you are getting everything ready for the Christmas Celebration, I mean ordering them around to do it! I miss seeing you. We missed you at dinner last night. We thought about setting up a Sat. or Weekday morning brunch or meeting at Borders coffee shop? Might be easier for everyone in Jan.? Classes are over now! Will drop you a note later today by email. Hope to talk to you soon.
    I think the wig should be black, you talked about how you had black hair at one time, Just take a step back and have it again! If you need any thing and I do mean anything! let me know! Talk soon, I’m off to the airport to pick up my Mom!
    Hugs, big hugs!

  4. elizabeth gaylord says:

    You’re right–it is illogical to blame yourself for getting cancer. When I look at the list of athletes that have had cancer; Martina Navratilova, Lance Armstrong, Dorothy Hammil, Peggy Flemming–I don’t think I could have brought it on myself. My doctor cut me off immediately when I asked if it did anything to cause it–“It is not your fault–don’t let that thought enter your head.” You have given so much to your family and now I am sure they want to give their love to you in every way you need it. Enjoy it and enjoy the holidays. Love to you and yours, Beth

  5. Sue Green Hafer says:

    Hi Lin,
    I am so glad I found your blog page. Dad (Gib Green) is always asking if I know any new news from your sweet family. So now I can let him know this. If you don’t mind I would love to give him and Meg your site so she can read to him and keep him updated with you and your family.

    Prayers and thoughts continually sent your way from the “old” Dallas 7th ward.


  6. Dian Stanley says:

    Glad to hear you are going to start the chemo. It sure won’t be fun but I like the positive “vibe”. I think the wig should be any color but should have a purple or pink stripe just for a little zing!

    Merry Christmas!! Know you are loved by a lot of people outside your family!

  7. Ruth says:

    Dearest Lin,
    May the Lord be with you as you go through your treatments! Glad to hear that you’ve gone through the chemo. Wearing a wig is sorta the “in thing” …its just called Hair Extensions…it really is a wig.
    Please do not blame yourself for getting cancer. We will always care for you and your family Lin!!! Big hugs for you! Merry Christmas and a Blessed Healthy New Year!! The Lord knows of your needs at this special time of the year!
    Blessings be with you dear friend!

  8. Chris Fuller says:

    Hi, Lin. I’m joining this group of ladies above who are all encouraging you to STOP feeling guilty. I remember when my dad had cancer a few years ago and all six of us kids were so happy to help in any way we could. I’m guessing that your family feels the same way….for all the love and commitment you’ve shown them all these years, they feel honored that they can finally reciprocate. Let them! There is absolutley nothing to feel guilty about!!

    Looking forward to your next posting and wishing you some very happy days during this holiday season. ~Chris

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