The weeks seem to be flying by! I almost forgot to update the blog today. I opted NOT to start the new chemo on Monday. I was feeling very fragile emotionally and just wasn’t ready to commit to the new side effects -especially losing my hair. However, I think I am going to start with this coming Monday or the Monday after Christmas. I just can’t not do it if there’s any chance at all that it will give me more time. So I “empowered” myself by getting set up for a wig and some of those “cancer caps.” It is still going to be hard, but so many before me have done it. I can, too. The pain is increasing – had to go up on the pain meds. But I am able to control it and am mostly comfortable. I also started seeing a counselor who specialize in issues dealing with terminal cancer patients. I am hoping he will be able to give me new perspective on the issues I and my family are facing. The hardest thing for me, personally, is totally illogical. I feel a sense of guilt for causing those that I love such pain. Like I said, illogical! But that’s where I am. As always, thanks for your support and caring for me and mine.
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